*groans* was . . up . . too . .late . .. I have to finish this today . . . four more pages to go . ...so annoying . . want sleep . . . grog . . *head falls to desk*
posted by Kecia 8:22 AM
Sunday, April 28, 2002
Just so you know, you can all just stop it. I swear, the whole world has pms today. So just . . . lay off, ok? Thanks.
posted by Kecia 2:49 PM
A picture of what I ended up wearing last night:
Of course, I also had a black skirt on. :) And I don't look anything like the beautiful lady in the picture, but I got up my courage and wore it anyway. Banquet was good - better than last year, as Hetal pointed out to Aaron over and over again. It's always nice for us all to get together once in a while. There were a lot of after-banquet parties this year, but I was too tired to go to any of them. :( I even slept through church this morning. Today the plan is to finish my immunology term paper and to get the first three pages of Dr. Hall's final done. Periods of procrastination will be spent moving boxes in from the car and doing laundry. That's the plan, anyway . . .
posted by Kecia 11:22 AM
Friday, April 26, 2002
busy being depressed because i'm fat and have nothing to wear for banquet. and that my comments thingee is down until mid-may or so. just so you know.
posted by Kecia 6:45 PM
Thursday, April 25, 2002
For Matthew, because I miss him when he's away:
"Under Your Spell"
I lived my life in shadow
Never the sun on my face
It didn't seem so sad, though
I figured that was my place
Now I'm bathed in light
Something just isn't right
I'm under your spell
How else could it be
Anyone would notice me?
It's magic, I can tell
How you've set me free
Brought me out so easily
I saw a world enchanted
Spirits and charms in the air
I always took for granted
I was the only one there
But your powers shone
Brighter than any of I've known.
I'm under your spell
Nothing I can do
You just took my soul with you
You worked your charms so well
Finally, I knew
Everything I dreamed was true
You make me complete!
The moon to the tide
I can feel you inside
I'm under your spell
Surging like the sea
Drawn to you so helplessly
I break with every swell
Lost in ecstasy
Spread beneath my willow tree
You make me complete!
You make me complete
You make me complete
You make me...
oh, just everything's going wrong. my mom calls and i'm only half-listening because i'm trying to cheer up a guy contemplating suicide because suddenly this is my personal crusade? just because one of my friends keeps trying it and i'm tired of it and people f***ing keep calling my roommate NO she's not here STOP CALLING if she were here would i be answering the phone? no. because i'm too busy ranting about my petty problems not that they're so petty no matter what mr. poopyhead at the counseling center says not that i even remember anymore, really but at least hetal has someone to listen to her and matthew sure hasn't been around lately not that it's his fault and i'm sure i've done and will do worse especially during grad school because chris was right he was right he was right that's why it still bothers me so much i might not care if he hadn't been right and i was right all along just tried to cover it up. yes, people, i'm really a b****. get used to it. stop treating me like i'm some kind of angel. i'm not, i wish i was, but i'm not and it hurts when you expect me to be because then i have your expectations on top of all the expectations i've had put on me and believe me that's a lot and i didn't even listen to my mom when she called and that makes me a bad daughter because they do so much for me, but hey, what's new, right? and i must really have a psychic link with matthew because he just im'ed me to see what was wrong and i don't deserve him i don't deserve anything what have i ever done that i get wonderful guys throwing themselves in my path though admittedly chris has/had misogynistic tendencies but it was all my fault though really because he was never anything but sweet to me but i was mean to him and mean to bruce and mean to jeff and mean to matthew and i am such a horrible person it's good i'm leaving here because then people won't get so sick of me and it's good they don't have to put up with me any more and i'm sorry for matthew's parents because they deserve a better daughter in law and look at me i'm pathetically whining on the internet instead of doing something about it because i'm an attention grabbing ***** just like the certain people at dt i despise and i despise them because i see my faults in them and so once again everything is all my fault and though i didn't mean to do it i didn't do anything to prevent it either.
posted by Kecia 10:25 PM
Heh. Oh my. I'm not sure what this says about me. I'm not even sure what it *is*. Oh well - I've got to get to class. Today's another workday, so there'll probably be plenty of time-wastin posts from me!
posted by Kecia 9:10 AM
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
The Leaky Cauldron: We Blog for Harry Potter On the stock markets, shares of Scholastic Corp., the American publisher of the Harry Potter books, fell on concerns that the next Harry Potter book will be delayed. The company said author J.K. Rowling hasn't told the company when she will deliver the book. A few days ago, Scholastic spokesman Ray Marchuk said the company hopes to release the next Potter book during its fiscal 2003 (ending May 31 of that year), but does not know exactly when Rowling will deliver the manuscript. She is "busily working" on the fifth installment of the series, Marchuk said.
We are trying to get a confirmation from JK Rowling or one of her spokespersons on that issue - if she is still writing on the book...
Rames El Desouki on 4/22/2002 03:09:53 PM
Gah! Nooooooooo . . . .This is what I get for reading HPNews instead of working on my paper. *stomps off to write to her Right Honorable Friend from Bloomsbury*
posted by Kecia 10:09 PM
Just a quick note to let anyone who cares know that today has gone much better! I now have an outfit for banquet, and my essay due date was moved to Monday! *does dance of joy*
posted by Kecia 7:09 PM
Monday, April 22, 2002
So, I had a bad day. I came home, and to compensate, decided to make myself some muffins. This was done, with much hunting down of ingredients - fortunately I had milk that had not yet hit its date. Make the muffins I did, and they made the entire apartment smell of their chocolately goodness. I lift one onto my plate, and head for my room, mug of milk in hand. I take a swallow of milk - and nearly spew it out. The milk, for whatever reason, is spoiled. It smells like yogurt. I don't know how I didn't notice. No muffins for me. Sigh. I think I've been defeated by this day.
posted by Kecia 2:51 PM
Saturday, April 20, 2002
Sigh. This is one of those nights where nothing has actually gone wrong, but it feels as if everything has. Stupid Quickchat not letting me in; I needed the distraction. Well, maybe I'll get my Ginny ficlet done. My papers, you ask? Well, I got one done. And that's quite enough for tonight, in my opinion. Besides, Presto just handed me a plot . . . er . . . bunny, still, I guess. Rather mutated. At least I think that's what's wrong with it. :) I'd like to put up the paper I spent all day on today up here, but I don't know how to link to it, and I don't want to put it in the body of the post . . . maybe I'll put it up on my school website, or something. At any rate, it details the symptoms, inheritance, and treatment of primary lymphedema. I picked that topic because the disease runs in my family, and I knew I needed something to spark my interest about it, or I'd never get it done at this late date. My other paper (12 pages! gah!) is on the development and functionality of edible vaccines. Fortunately I have interest in that as well. Then it's just two finals, and I'm done! Scary! (Though not, admittedly, as scary as the Ship for Dorks *snicker*)
posted by Kecia 10:24 PM
Heh - just being a bad girl and breaking away to test this new way to update. It looks pretty nifty, and easy. Nice. :) I'm on my second page, now, at least, of my paper . . . *scampers off back to work*
posted by Kecia 11:56 AM
At this time you are really feeling quite exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling that is going on about you and you are looking for some sort of protection from this state of affairs. Ideally you are seeking a peaceful condition and a tranquil environment in which you can be afforded the chance to relax and recover.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image. You need for those people in positions that matter to recognise your potential and to acknowledge you.
Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.
You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.
It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own making simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial 'you' is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities. You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.
Heh. That mostly sounds like me. Particularly the 'stress caused by my own self' part. But I'm not normally congenial, and I *always* shy away from making decisions. Oh well.
*suddenly notices accusing glare of papers* Right. I was going to work on those, wasn't I? Quite right. Oops.
In other news: Sigh. School's almost over. It's weird how I'm already starting to feel just a little detached-y from this place. It's going to hurt when I leave. I don't want to, but I need to. At least Matthew, silly tap-root that he is, is coming with me. And I won't be far away this summer. Not that Hetal will be around. :( I think I'm going to have to go to Macon to get my hair dyed. . .
I'm still working on the first page of my first term paper. Oops. And working isn't exactly the right word, although it's open on my desktop. That's a start. I'm wondering if I shouldn't get myself another blog - one for parental types, and one for peer-types. After all, I can't rant about how I'm afraid I'm ruining Matthew's relationship with his family by dragging him to the Other Side of the World if they're reading it, can I?
Matthew's off taking his EIT, the first step or so in becoming Mr. Big-Scary-Engineer type. I miss him. Saturdays are usually waffle-mornings. And to top off my annoyances (not counting the papers) my roommate is whistling. Again. Now, I'm not a big fan of whistling, but I can usually tolerate it. At least most of the time, and certainly when I'm in a different room, like I am from her. But her whistle . . . it could wake the dead with its shrill piercing-ness. Ow.
I don't want to work on my papers . . . Its amazing how demoralizing an acceptance letter can be. Especially when you have to pass only one of your four classes to graduate, and that only with a D. *watches motivation fly out the window to live in the trees* Oh well. I'll probably panic Thursday night and stay up all night writing them and only finish at 4:45 and fly over to the bio building to turn them in. I tend to work like that, unfortunately. At least I always turn them in. And then after that, I have a take-home final to write (shouldn't be hard) and an immunology final (should be devastatingly hard), and then I'm done! Scary. . . Well, I guess I'm back to work now, but there will be lots of procrastination going down today . . .
Whee! Blogspot is working again! Now I have another toy to distract me instead of working on my paper! :) *runs off to find out if blogspot ate my missing posts*
posted by Kecia 7:02 PM
Thursday, April 18, 2002
Gah! Blogger is down! Well, I'll type this up anyway, and see what happens. Yesterday I was introduced to the wonderful world that is JoAnn's Etc. Yay! I was there to look at the pattern for the greek dress. I'm now not so big on the dress. Oh well. I think I can come up with something to wear that I already own. I hope so, anyway. I'm not going naked, certainly. :-P I wish I could get out of going altogether, but that isn't an option, considering this one is managed by Hetal. Well, Gail's back, so I've got to switch computers ...
posted by Kecia 10:30 AM
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
Let's see if this works:
Ta-dum! The dress on the right is the one I want to wear to banquet. Unfortunately, no one has time to show me how to sew it between now and then. Sigh. Double sigh. Oh well, at least I figured out how to post the picture!
posted by Kecia 3:22 PM
Ahem. I posted this to GT Zonko's a while back, and decided to transpose it over here, because I'm the only person in the whole world who actually *likes* these things . . . beware - I actually filled this out a few weeks ago, so some of the information might not now be accurate. (such as: I am not wearing a tiara at work, in case you couldn't have figured that out.)
*******
Appearance - hair: shoulder length, coppery brown, frizzy, and thin
- height: 5'8"
- eyes: blue with little flecks of different colours
Right Now - wearing: jeans, a periwinke t-shirt, a tiara, and mismatched socks
- music: Itazhak Perlman
- thinking of: the fact I'm not getting anything productive done this afternoon
- feeling: okay-ish
Last thing you... - bought: soda
- did: lunch with my boyfriend
- read: other than fanfics? erm . . . part of James Watson's new book (I can't remember the title at the moment)
- tasted: coke
- watched on tv: tv? hrm . . . news, maybe? several nights ago, I think
Either/Or
- club or house party: house party
- tea or coffee: tea (unless I'm really in the mood for an iced coffee)
- high achiever or easy-going: erm . . . an unhappy mix of both?
- cats or dogs: Cats.
- pen or pencil: Pen (the pilot extra-fine kind)
- gloves or mittens: gloves (mittens are yicky)
- food or candy: krispy kreme donuts!
- boxers or briefs: boxers
- hot or cold: cold
- cassette or cd: CD
- snuff or cigarettes: neither
- coke or pepsi: COKE
- matches or a lighter: matches
- sunset beach or the bold and the beautiful: er?
- rickie lake or oprah winfrey: heh - why waste time with tv when you can waste time online?
Who Do You Want to... - kill: I plead the fifth
- hear from: Nicki
- look like: myself, several pounds thinner
- be like: Francis Collins and my mom
Favorite - food: krispy kreme donuts
- drink: hot tea
- color: blue (periwinkle, specifically)
- album: Corners by David Lamotte
- shoes: *giggles* my sparkly brown scary shoes
- site: other than SQ? www.sluggy.com, i guess
- vegetable: hrm, corn - or maybe raw carrots
- fruit: pomegranates (ripe), strawberries, and cranberries
Last - last movie you saw: uh . . . I don't know? it was on tv . . . it was the geek movie about the computer game that was going to blow up the world . . . *shrugs*
- last movie you saw on the big screen: LotR
- last phone number you called: boyfriend's house
- last thing you had to drink: coke
- last thing you ate: chicken sandwich
- last time you showered: this morning
- last time you cried: a week or two ago?
- last time you smiled: just now
- last time you laughed: this morning, at the theater
- last person you hugged: my boyfriend
- last person you kissed: my boyfriend
- last thing you said: "have a good afternoon at work!"
- last person you talked to online: the GT chat people
- last thing you smelled: the rose on my desk
Do you... - smoke: no
- do drugs: no (unless the combination of peppermints and surge counts, because I get really hyper on that)
- sleep with stuffed animals: sometimes
- have a crush: on my boyfriend
- have a boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
- have a dream that keeps coming back: sort of. long story.
- play an instrument: used to play the oboe. not so much anymore.
- believe there is life on other planets: yes, probably
- read the newspaper: yes
- have any gay or lesbian friends: yes
- believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: yes.
- consider yourself tolerant of others: most of the time
Do You... - believe in astrology: only for fun
- believe in magic: certain types
- pray: yes
- go to church: yes
- have any secrets: chambers full of them
- have any pets: a boyfriend
- talk to strangers who instant message you: nope
- wear hats: yes
- have any piercings: nope
- have any tattoos: no
- hate yourself: erm . . on occasion
- wish on stars: once in a long while
- like your handwriting: sometimes
- believe in witches: do i believe that people are wiccan? yes
- believe in Satan: the short answer - yes
- believe in ghosts: not really
- trust others easily: most of the time
- take walks in the rain: i prefer to dance . . .
- kiss with your eyes closed: yes and no
- sing in the shower: on good mornings
******
Look at how much time I wasted for something no one will ever read! *sigh*
Heh - that's me all right. (well, maybe except for the Ytterbium)
Still bored. (at least I have this to play with) Still here. At least I can feel useful - being the only biology major in the main office is a perk, sometimes. I still haven't decided if I'm going to the biology picnic tonight, though. It's hot and sticky and gross outside - but it's my last one. Not that I went to any of the others. Oh well.
I think I'm going to leave the Wonderful World of Online Quizzes and start compiling the mega-list of those that I want to email my contact information over the next few months. Don't feel left out (if by some strange chance you're reading this) if you don't get one. Just send me an email, and I will judge your worthiness. :)
*runs off to play with email*
posted by Kecia 1:05 PM
Heh. Yep, that's me. No, not Hugh's ex-girlfriend. Sigh. I'm wasting time at work taking quizzes - but it's not like there's anything more productive I could be doing. Well, I suppose I could be working on one of the three term papers I have due before next Friday, but they don't count. Really.
In other news, I'm apparently the only one reading this. Which is fine, considering Matthew is the only one that knows about it, and I think he's forgotten. I haven't told anyone at GT (either one) yet, and certainly not our webpage. I think it will eventually be known to all those that matter, and some that don't. I won't have a link back to my homepage from here, as it contains too much personal information about myself that I'm not willing to share with the random people I meet on the internet. :-/ But other than that, I think this is impersonal enough to share.
My new plan: be a student assistant for the rest of my life. No responsibility, no brainer-work, nice people, adequate pay . . . the only drawback seems to be that I can't leave if no one else is covering the phones. Which is my current issue; i have to cross my legs until Gail gets back. :-/ But other than that . . . menial secretarial duties are the way to go. :) Besides, all the really cute English post-docs come through here - mmmmmmaccents. *drifts off into happy thoughts of Colin Firth*
posted by Kecia 12:52 PM
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Okay, I think I've gotten everything to a point it can stay, for now. Still to fix: too many things to list. But at least now I feel a little productive for the evening, even if most of it was spent at Matthew's doing absolutely nothing. Bleh. Heh - and finally, here's one of those quizzes I've been wanting to put up (I think they're the real reason I got this thing).
I actually got this one a while ago, but I was hunting around for a good quiz tonight and found it again. It's hooked to a great site - I should've found this one a while back when everyone at DT was staking their claim on deity. I've always identified with Psyche (except for the whole mega-beauty thing), but Hestia looks cool too. :) All right, I'm getting sleepy - time for bed, everyone!
posted by Kecia 11:32 PM
Maybe I have to hit post & publish, eh? Or maybe not . . . I wish I knew something about what I was doing . . . at any rate, I think I'm almost there - and for that matter, it can stay labeled 'comments' for tonight. Stupid computer stuff.
posted by Kecia 11:05 PM
Okay, so I just got some commenting code from uiqui.net, since YACCS is no longer accepting new users. :( Hopefully I put it in the right place, and it'll work properly. If so, the next project is to make those cute little forum-faces show up in my posts. After that, the world! *runs off, cackling*
posted by Kecia 10:51 PM
Monday, April 15, 2002
So, if you wind up here, it's probably because I've started pointing here from the homepage I share with Matthew. (*waves merrily at newcomers*) I don't use this much now, but I imagine in the next few weeks, as my computer quickly becomes my connection with my GA Tech friends, my postings will increase, and I'll finally get around to figuring out what all these nifty buttons mean. So this should shortly become my connection with you all. (That is, of course, assuming I don't find a new communication toy I like better.) In case you somehow have missed it, I've definitely decided on UM. At this point, I'm just glad the decision is made. *breathes sigh of relief, falls immediately asleep from sudden onset of stress relaxation*
posted by Kecia 10:20 PM
a home for my blatherings on the web, because i have a real need to procrastinate more than i already do
*groans* was . . up . . too . .late . .. I have to finish this today . . . four more pages to go . ...so annoying . . want sleep . . . grog . . *head falls to desk*
